by Irvine Welsh, film directed by Danny Boyle
We can't exactly be 100% sure about this one (as we just couldn't bring ourselves to read past page 10) but we do
know that Welsh's novel is a noggin-scratchingly painful book. The Scottish dialect throughout renders it an impossible read for any middle class, middle-minded and well spoken southerner like Itchy. Oh and if you watch the film you actually get to see a smoking hot (yet emaciated) heroin addict dive head first into a toilet. PLUS it has a banging soundtrack and attractive men in Doc Martens as far as the eye can see. Beautiful.
The Passion of the Christ –
film directed by Mel Gibson
Because everyone likes a good old laugh at Mel Gibson's expense and because no one can be bothered to read the Bible anyway. It's kind of heavy-going and a tad graphic. Not to be mistaken for a wonderful children's bedtime fairy story. Your kids would never sleep again.
The Virgin Suicides –
by Jeffrey Eugenides, film directed by Sofia Coppola
Despite the book being pretty awesome, the film just has something that the book doesn't. That something would be none other than Josh Harnett sporting a 70s man-bob style wig and a sexy velvety bellbottom suit. A girl's wet dream. Totally worth all 97 traumatic minutes in which we are subjected to Kirsten Dunst's achingly glorious face/body/hair making us all feel and look like dogs in comparison.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas –
by Hunter S Thompson, film directed by Terry Gilliam
Apparently, this Gilliam chap rejected the screenplay for Troy after reading only 5 pages of it. It's hard to believe he made it THAT far. On a more relevant note, Fear and Loathing is a masterpiece in any form, but the film's got Johnny Depp masquerading as a Hawaiian shirt enthusiast and lovable drug bingeing loon (aka Hunter S Thompson). Just brill.