Itchy London Home Reviews and recommendations

You know you spend too much time on Facebook when...

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 16:37:10 GMT

We know when it’s time to dislike the social network and start socialising with real people…

You start liking your own status
Itchy loves a good status update, whether it’s a smiley face, what someone ate for dinner or a song lyric aimed at an ex you are sooo over. But there comes a point where giving two thumbs fresh to something you’ve typed with your very own digits teeters in to loser territory. And Itchy doesn’t associate with losers.

Your last check in was in bed, or on the toilet
Itchy sleeps, Itchy goes to the bog, Itchy also has a life and some self-respect... some. Checking in is a cool way of making you easily accessible to a stalker, but pinpointing your every move is something reserved for Russell Brand and the Twitterati. Heck, if Itchy checked in everywhere then Facebook would be face down with techno problems.

You're stalking the person who wrote on your ex's wall
Itchy has a heart, and that heart has been messed with, pushed, pulled and broken just like yours, so we get it when your innocent finger hovers over your ex's profile on a Columbo-style mission. Yet Itchy draws the line at excessive daily peeping on the poor mite who simply typed "LOL" on a status. Itchy advises you click the remove button pronto and head outside to mingle with real people with actual faces, that like, work and everything.

You're posting music videos to show how you feel
Itchy once posted Cheryl Cole’s Fight For This Love, and within minutes people were asking ‘who wants to fight?’ ‘what are you fighting for?’ and ‘don't you think your Cheryl obsession is going a tad too far?’
We get that music expresses how you feel, but tap your toe to it, not your finger on the upload button next to Blue’s Eurovision treat ‘I Can’ to show what a top day you had at work.

You're creating a relationship out of words, pokes and winks
Sounds quite poetic really, but Itchy knows better than to fall for someone who adds you, pokes you, winks at you and puts LOL at the end of every sentence. As in the real world LOL, Itchy bets you would pretty much be arrested LOL for going round poking strangers and giving them a sly old wink LOL. Itchy says the odd poke can be nice but can it really get you through a day as dull as dog poo? No, didn’t think so.

Kelly Holgate

The Crash Pad at Thorpe Park

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 13:50:39 GMT

Itchy braved it backwards on The Swarm at Thorpe Park this weekend. We can hardly believe it. We're the first to confess that we are not the bravest people in the world - sometimes we get scared of our own reflection. Fact. So when we were invited to try out The Crash Pad - Thorpe Park's overnight accommodation - before it opened to the public this spring, we slightly pooed our pants. Not only would we be taking on some of the fastest and most loopy (technical term, obv) rollercoasters in the UK, but we would be staying on site, meaning that there would literally be no escape. Gulp.

We invited our least intrepid friend for moral support, and we left behind our other halves - this turned out to be a wise decision, as our accommodation was somewhat intimate. We doubt the boys would have appreciated being consigned to the bunk beds... As a result, if you're planning to go as a group of couples, we recommend getting more than one Crash Pad - they sleep four, but only if all four are 100% familiar with each other's snores and night time loo visits. Itchy reckons it'd be ideal for young families and groups of mates who don't mind the novelty of being in each others pockets for the evening. Just don't fight over the top bunk (or the double bed, for that matter). Proximity aside, we loved the modern design of the "pods" and found the idea of waking up next to the coasters terrifying and exciting in equal measures.

Unfortunately, our visit coincided with some traditional British weather, leaving us soaked before we'd even caught a glimpse of Tidal Wave, but we didn't let this dampen our spirits. Oh no, we decided to go hard or go home, bravely taking on The Swarm as pretty much our first ever rollercoaster. As we approached the ride, which looks like the scene of a pretty serious plane crash (always a great way to put us at ease, right?), we clung to each other in a state of delirium, muttering "Why the hell are we here?!?!". As we were strapped in, we said a quick prayer to the god of health and safety. The coaster began its ascent and we continued to hold hands... And that's pretty much the last thing we remember, aside from a near miss with a plane wing, a flash of flames and a couple of "Crikey, we're upside-down" moments. As the ride came to a stop, we were still in shock. Not only had we endured The Swarm, we'd actually enjoyed it. So much, in fact, that we then did it again. Twice. (Once backwards and once more forwards, for the record. Yeah, we're casual about it now... No biggie.)

After this, it only seemed fair to reward ourselves at Bar 360 with a mega meal and about 500 cocktails - we recommend the Raspberry Mojito, FYI. Then we smugly made our way to The Crash Pad, where we literally, well, crashed... After using the WiFi to Skype everyone we knew to drunkenly boast about how brave we'd been.

And, believe it or not, the next morning we discovered that a) Bar 360 offers the ideal morning-after breakfast (the muffins were a highlight) and b) rollercoasters really do cure hangovers. Win.
The Crash Pad opens to the public on 28th March

2013. Prices from £64 per person, per night based on 4 people sharing. Evening entertainment, breakfast and TWO days at the Park are included in the price of your stay at The Crash Pad. Visit http://www.THORPEPARK.com/crashpad or call 0871 663 1673 for enquiries.

Thai Square Spa City

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 14:48:55 GMT

Itchy was feeling tired, run down and emotional. Spring just hasn't sprung yet, and we were in desperate need of a boost. That's when Thai Square Spa invited us to their City branch, just seconds away from Aldgate Station in Central London. We literally jumped for joy. Not only does the spa offer a large selection of high quality treatments, but it's also possible to visit in your lunch hour and return to your desk feeling like a brand spanking new human being.

On recommendation from the spa, we sampled the Thai Herbal Healer - described as "a traditional Thai herbal therapy to soothe muscle tension and stiffness," it was just what the doctor ordered. We arrived at the spa, having got a tiny bit lost in transit, feeling flustered and very much in LONDON. (You Londoners will sympathise with this, we know.) Within minutes, after our therapist, Bee, had lead us down a labarythine set of steps and corridors, we were sitting in a beautifully decorated treatment room, wearing a towelling robe with our feet in a bowl of warm, fragrant water, sipping on authentic Thai herbal tea, feeling approximately 9,524.40120648 kilometres away from the capital. Absolute bliss.

After the lovely Bee had washed our feet (very biblical, but also incredibly relaxing), we were instructed to lie on the beautiful white bed, face down. From this moment on, we were taken away to a place where all that mattered was our body. Incredible. The session began with the application of a warm Thai herbal poultice, containing a fragrant blend of therapeutic Thai herbs and spices. Itchy did a bit of a Google, and apparently these herbs are good for pretty much any ailment - stiff, sore or pulled muscles, chronic aches and even migraines, skin conditions and stress. We can't verify all of these claims, but we felt very relaxed and pampered as they were applied to our back, neck, arms and legs.

Following this, Bee worked on each of these areas with her magical touch and some aromatic oils - from the sore spots on our shoulder blades to the tight muscle on our right calf muscle, she covered it all. We managed not to fall asleep, as even though we could easily have drifted off, we didn't want to miss a precious second of our massage. Bee was a woman of few words, which we really enjoyed as it enabled us to completely switch off throughout the treatment. Our only slight annoyance was the piano music, which sometimes seemed to be a little upbeat for the occasion. Eventually, Bee asked us to turn onto our back, so that she could massage our face and scalp. This was the sort of massage we always crave at the end of a busy day in the office; focussing on our temples and working across the pressure points of our face, neck and head. Mmmmm. Perfect.

When the experience finally came to an end, we felt brand new. We collected our clothes from the locker with a spring in our step, only to be presented with ANOTHER cup of delicious tea in the beautiful relaxation area, complete with magazines. Oh, go on then... let's spend a little longer in paradise. London can wait.

We recommend Thai Square Spa for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the pace of the capital. Finding a piece of Thailand just meters from Aldgate Station is a dream come true. Click here

to see their website and visit their Facebook page for the latest news and offers.

Cantina Laredo

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 12:13:36 GMT

Itchy loves a good Mexican. Who doesn't? Nachos, guacamole, quesadillas, tortillas... ariiiiiba! If you love it too, we recommend a visit to Cantina Laredo.

We arrived, starving hungry, ready for a feast and with eyes far bigger than our stomachs. We were shown to our booth, which was very comfortable and gave us a great view of the street, then greedily swept our eyes over the menu and requested Top Shelf Guacamole - freshly made at our table by Anna, the most enthusiastic waitress EVER. We were mesmerised by the way she took a load of ingredients, from avocado to jalapenos, chopped them up before our eyes and created the best guacamole we've ever had the pleasure of dipping our tortilla chips into. Yum. We recommend this if you are picky about how much onion/tomato/coriander/spice you like in your dip, or if you want to recreate this delicacy in your very own kitchen one day. We also greedily devoured some Machaca Quesadillas, which were a lovely texture and filled with melted oaxaca cheese and machaca beef - delish.

For mains, we decided to be adventurous. We've heard a lot about Mole - a Mexican speciality involving both chocolate and chilli with chicken - and thought this would be the ideal time to check it out. We were pleasantly surprised by the sweet, spicy, chocolatey sauce and the creamed spinach and mushrooms that accompanied the dish were the perfect partner. We also tried Carnitas Tacos - slow roasted pork with chipotle wine sauce and fresco cheese... mmmmm. We just wish we hadn't stuffed ourselves so much with starter, as we couldn't finish our mains. A cautionary tale indeed.

You may think we finished there. But no, we are firm believers in the savoury side being full, but the sweet side crying out for attention... so we bravely battled on and ordered dessert. We just couldn't walk away from the Tequila Lime Cheesecake with Avocado ice cream and the Mexican Brownie with Cinnamon ice cream... and goodness, are we glad we didn't. The cheesecake was the perfect mix of sweet and sour, with the ice cream providing a creamy and delicious accompaniment. Needless to say, we polished it all off with ease. The brownie was equally spectacular, served sizzling hot on a skillet. Our only issue was how hot this made the brownie, and how quickly it melted the ice cream - we were desperate to devour it within seconds, but it was just so damn hot that we had to wait. Itchy doesn't like to wait.

Now, we've neglected to mention one of Cantina Laredo's best bits - the bar. Throughout our meal we sipped on some gorgeous cocktails, including the beautifully named Hibiscus Royale, which is a blend of fresh mint, hibiscus syrup and prosecco - bliss. We also made El Cubano a favourite, Barcardi Superior hand-muddled with fresh strawberries, raspberries, passion fruit and apple juice, with a hint of vanilla. Seriously addictive, but we suppose it must be at least one of our five a day? We eyed up the uber massive and glam looking freshly squeezed lime margaritas, but we just didn't have any room to try them out - maybe next time? We'll meet you there. Just don't gorge on starters, stick with a sharer of Top Shelf Guacamole and hold out for the perfect main... and don't forget dessert. Bam. (We make the mistakes, so you don't have to. No need to thank us. It's what we're here for.)

Five Bands Itchy's Fallen in Love with this Spring

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 15:11:15 GMT

1. Bastille
We've been a fan of their mix tapes for what feels like years, but Bastille's debut album, Bad Blood, has had us hooked even more than we thought possible. We're humming Pompeii 24/7 and Sleepsong has us tapping things frantically, like a wannabe drummer. If you're already in the Bastille club*, bravo. If not, join it as soon as you can. You won't regret it.

*NB we aren't sure if there actually is a club, we are talking metaphorically. Obv.

2. London Grammar
Ethereal pop trio from, yup, you guessed it, London. We love Metal and Dust, but it's currently in heavy rotation on Radio One, so we've gone for another of their classic tracks, Hey Now, for your listening pleasure. We don't know much about them, but seeing as they don't even have an album out yet but they're getting all this attention, Itchy reckons they're gonna be massive.

3. The 1975
We have no idea what this Manchester-based alt-rock band are saying in Chocolate, but it's mighty catchy nevertheless. In fact, we quite enjoy making up our own soundalike lyrics. We're pretty certain they're singing about petticoats. Hmmm. Have a listen and let us know what you think they're singing in the comments box below...

4. Local Natives
With their second album, Hummingbird, the Natives have captured Itchy's heart once again. It's not hugely different from their debut, Gorilla Manor, but we really don't care. You can never have too much of a good thing, that's what we say. If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it... And all those other cliches. Yes. Here's our favourite from Hummingbird.

5. Haim
Music needs more women. Haim are three twenty-something girls from Los Angeles making some toe-tappingly-good songs. Itchy can't quite describe their sound... we're thinking 90s R&B meets 70s soft-rock with a touch of folky goodness. Have a listen and let us know what you think in the comments box below.

EXCLUSIVE URBAN KITCHEN OFFER

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 13:20:41 GMT

It's the start of Summer (apparently), which means warmer weather, better fashions and lower temperature food - we're not the only ones sick of pie and chips, are we? Itchy has teamed up with Toral Shah at Urban Kitchen to offer you a Summer code until May 21st...

We fell for her food before we fell for Toral, but as a cook with an MSc in Nutritional Medicine and a breast cancer survivor, we can personally add our endorsements to her credentials - she knows what she's doing. Her food is not only super delicious, but super good for you, so you'll get through the day without feeling like collapsing of sugar deprivation (that's a real thing... probably).

Check out her Urban Lunch Boxes, starting from £4.75, including gluten-free, dairy-free and nut-free choices, and enjoy free delivery if you're inside Zone 1 (SE1, E1, EC1, EC2, EC3, EC4 - email for details to other areas). We highly recommend the turkey burgers with sweet potato and green salad, though we're regretting not trying the Moroccan meatballs… yum.

If you order before the 21st of May you can get 10% off exclusively with Itchy! Here’s the VERY SECRET code:

ITCHYLN13

So eat yourself healthy, starting... now.