Purple

If you haven't felt ugly enough/fat enough/poor enough for a while you know what to do: head for Purple. Sited in the Chelsea Football Club – of course –, it's wall–to–wall nuevo moolah who don't mind spending half of daddy's fortune on a cocktail. Which can work in your favour if you scrub up well and know how to smile: do I fancy a drink? Oo, lovely — three champagne cocktails, please.

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