Itchy's Guide to Pub Golf
Bored of unplanned nights at the bar? Drink with rules, scores and punishments instead.
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Now, the most important thing to know is that Pub Golf requires a little more preparation than most drinking games. For a start, you need score cards, templates of which can be found various websites (such as collegebeergames.com). Time has to be spent planning the course in advance, and ideally everyone should be dressed in golfing attire (think flat caps, one-handed golf gloves, and checked jumpers). We find the best policy with non-participators is to cut them out entirely, or at least cut them out of their clothes and give them a golf glove or two to hide their shame.
For our first time, Itchy went with the simplest format (plenty of time for elaborate drinking games planning once we've honed our skills). Pick nine drinking establishments (the cheaper the better), and plan the best order to visit them. (The hardcore version is to pick 18, but we wouldn’t recommend it unless you have nothing else to do for the rest of the week). Each drinking establishment represents a hole on a golf course.
Then pick a selection of drinks, and assign a par for each of these. For example, say a pint of beer = par 4. This means that anyone drinking a pint of beer should be aiming to finish it in four gulps to finish on par. A shot would be par 1. All extra sips/gulps are recorded as extra strokes and result in extra points being added.
The eventual aim is to have the smallest score by the end of the night (the same as proper golf, unsuprisingly). When planning the scores and pars, bear in mind what is served at each of the pubs and the prices at each. It’s also fun to build in a few ‘house special’ cocktails or shooters, to keep things interesting/disastrous.
Other rules can include penalties for going to the toilet at certain stops (water hazards), for spilling drinks, and for being caught cheating. These (and appropriate punishments) should all be agreed in advance.
How did Itchy fare on our first attempt? Well, it was certainly a lot of fun organising the tournament. In fact, we found it necessary to do our planning in the pub. The first few holes seem pretty easy, but don’t be fooled. Very quickly it becomes quite an effort – not only to drink, but also to keep score. We would also recommend taking extra score sheets, or laminating your cards. Booze-soaked bars and paper don’t mix too well.
Tom Roberts
