The Itchy Guide to Getting into Gigs for Free

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 13:16:11 GMT

We try our best to be irritatingly useful in as may ways as possible, be it in our guide to cultivating facial hair, our recommendations for pancake day, or our list of 5 drunks you need to avoid.

We worry, though, that you still need help with some pretty elementary things, one of the most important of which is how to get into gigs for free. This is a skill we've been perfecting for years, and we know all the tricks. Some are unsavoury/morally questionable/illegal, but others aren't. Here're our top 5 (legal-ish) tips:

1. Join a band This is the most labour-intensive of our suggestions, but also perhaps the most satisfying. Why bother learning an instrument, though, when you can join the likes of Bez from the Happy Mondays and get onstage purely on the merits of the unusual shapes you choose to bust on the dance floor?

2. Disguise yourself as a member of staff
Loiter around your favourite large mobile-phone-provider-sponsored music venue taking surreptitious snaps of the bouncers' polo shirts. Learn to embroider (we hear it's piss-easy) and replicate yourself a lovely uniform. Paint your iPhone headphones black, stick one into your ear upside-down, and you're in.

3. Lie shamelessly
Old chestnuts along the lines of: "I'm in the band, I just popped out for a burger and I forgot my stage pass", "my wife has been kidnapped and I have reason to believe she's being held in the manager's office" and "yes I am here to clean the windows and no it is not an odd time to do so" all work equally well.

4. Get a job at your favourite venue
If you're the sort of honest sod who blushes like a bride when lying, you could always try working for your favourite venue. You won't guarantee yourself stage-side tickets by working in the bar, but you're likely to hear at least some of the music over podgy scoundrels yelling "STRONGBOW" at you like it's the most delicious nectar on earth. You could also flyer for some venues in return for tickets. Try the Academy Street Team, for example.

5. Write for Itchy
It might surprise you to learn that we are not superhumans with brains twice as large as average, sitting in an ivory tower atop some skyscraper at the centre of the universe. We're utterly ordinary, and if you can write things that make your mates weep with laughter, you could join our gang. We'll get you all sorts of free stuff - not just gig tickets. Yes, we are the best.

There you have it: go forth and spend minimal funds. If you have any tips for getting free STRONGBOW once you're in, do pop a comment below. We're yet to work that one out.

LIVE REVIEW: Bastille

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 17:23:04 GMT

They’re an enigmatic, all-male, indie-pop quartet who have been the Guardian's ‘new band of the day’ and are rapidly gaining clout. With the release of their debut album Bad Blood due out on the 3rd of March, this gig on the 2nd March at Glasgow’s Oran Mor must have been big biscuits for Bastille. Itchy was moved from our musical moorings by their fresh televised performance at Leeds Festival 2012 and we were looking forward to seeing them in the flesh.

Upon arrival Itchy’s excitement was temporarily quashed by a tepid atmosphere and ultra trendy crowd. Ok, so it was only 8:30 and the beer was yet to work its magic but we still didn’t expect so many west-end glamour pusses and clean-shaven grids. We then remembered that Bastille songs feature in Made in Chelsea and Hollyoaks and our bewilderment subsided. Sometime later, we squeezed our way to the front as the all-familiar noise swell and whelps of welcome ripped through the room. Bastille members came out to the Iconic Twin Peaks soundtrack… a nice touch Itchy thought, as fans would know it was a reference to their haunting song Laura Palmer. They opened with the well received album title track Bad Blood, which was rather noisily dubbed over as the (now alert) audience heartily joined in.

Adorning a UV wolf t-shirt and red converse, lead singer Dan Smith kept his composure through the kerfuffle and stayed in emotional contact with the songs. He humbly announced that at one point that week, their single Pompeii had touched the number 2 spot. The crowd cheered and whistled back in celebration as Bastille crashed into another song. Smith engaged the whole venue through his performance of the ominous Sleepsong, a lament to the perils of loneliness. All the while his voice maintained a guttural heart-felt quality that could give goose bumps to a marble statue and fellow band members hit the button with their harmonious chanting and backing vocals during Overjoyed.

Itchy particularly enjoyed their cover of Rhythm of The Night by Corona and Smith’s raw and tender delivery of Oblivion on keyboard. We remained cheery throughout due to their lively, dynamic delivery and the joyful mass sing-along from the crowd (so sorry for previously thinking some of you were androids). We were also expecting a bit of an acoustic feel with electronic tinges but instead, they had the strong, anthemic quality of a pop-rock band. It has to be said that they gave off a slight boy-pop vibe too, encouraged by wobbly-kneed, banner-raising fans but although Bastille members are good looking, they’re a far cry from plastic.

Itchy describe Bastille as enigmatic because there are many shades to the band’s sound and it’s difficult to generically pin them down. Their strength certainly lies in strong vocal harmonies, adding to that a rhythmic click-track feel, warm keyboard notes and emotively gothic lyrics; their approach is brave and refreshing. It could well be that Bastille have their noses in the contemporary cockpit, injecting authenticity and meaning into accessible pop. It’s just as possible that they’re simply making music and enjoying themselves. One thing we can be sure on: they’re hard working and they put on a good show.

Kim Taggart

Itchy Liverpool Outandabout Reviews and recommendations

The Itchy Guide to Getting into Gigs for Free

LIVE REVIEW: Bastille