Choose life. Choose a pub mentioned in Trainspotting. Chose a fucking big plasma television. Choose wallpaper not seen since 1970's Russia. Choose to be served by barmaids with no teeth and hairy noses. Choose cheap booze. Chose people trying to sell stolen pieces of cheese. Choose to be thankful it doesn't sell food. Choose to observe two old men fighting over a stool. Choose watery lager. Choose a slippy toilet floor. Chose never to come back but find yourself queuing for it to open.