China China

Take Itchy's advice and dine alone at this all–you–can–eat. Sneaky elasticated waistbands, more than five trips to load your plate and hoisin sauce–splattered crotches are secrets best kept between you and your chopsticks. Set aside a whole afternoon and work your way through the buffet cart; this is a great opportunity to sample those dodgy dishes you've always been too scared to order. Be sure to avoid the chilli beef though (the staff refuse to give away free water) and don't forget grab a fortune cookie on your way out.

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