Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2
Itchy's seen the final Harry Potter film, and god DAMN did we cry a lot.
Harry, Ron and Hermione are on the worst treasure hunt ever - they're hunting horcruxes (fragments of the dastardly Lord Voldemort's soul), and they're pretty worn out. Cue the battle to end them all, fought on the grounds of Harry's beloved Hogwarts. The school where the little witches and wizards learned their trade is under the control of Voldemort's supporters, and conditions are almost as bad as the grotty comprehensive Itchy attended as a pus-faced adolescent.
One particularly magnificent scene sees the trio enter Gringotts to carry out one of the most spectacular bank heists ever seen on screen. Itchy ended up rather loving dragons, and rather hating goblins, who resembled a few of our own school friends (nasty, grasping little sticklers for the rules with terrible teeth and more money than sense).
This is as dark as Harry Potter gets, and that's very dark indeed. Harry's family's all dead, but his friends are fair game, and more than one will fall in the final battle. Ron's jumper-knitting, middle-aged Mum gets phenomenally ragey towards the film's close, and kicks Bellatrix Lestrange's ass right across the Great Hall, rendering herself unspeakably cool in the process. God knows, the bitch had it coming.
We're not ashamed to say that we cried on more than one occasion. Not delicate, thoughtful tears, trickling down the cheeks, mind. This was the kind of snotty, noisy, undignified weeping we usually reserve for Ghost, or E.T.. By the end, we were tempted to stuff a couple of tissues up inside our 3D glasses for the sake of efficiency.
If you know how to read, chances are you know how it all ends anyway. There's no way your imagination could do as good a job as the filmmakers, so wipe your memory and fork out for the 3D ticket. It's actually worth the extra money, for once.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 is out in the UK on 15th July 2011.