El Porron
Food wise this place ain't that bad: authentic flavours, reasonable prices and decent sized portions are the order of the day. Atmosphere wise you'll find it about as much fun as sawing off your arm with a blunt junior hacksaw. The whole vibe of Spanish cuisine is normally about friendly drunken banter and animated conversation. Here it's a bit like you just walked in wearing the head of a recently decapitated woodland animal and declared yourself the Messiah. Clinical, cold and a little bit weird.

