You can just picture it, can't you? All wooden traditional décor, full of character, packed with friendly locals, warm, smoking, and comfortable. Well, put that thought to one side for a moment, cos whatever the name conjures up, the reality is very different. Expect wall–to–wall turnips and you won't be disappointed. Bray like a donkey at the slightest thing your partner says and you will fit right in. Keep that mobile clamped to your ear and order your Watermelon Bacardi Breezer without missing a step of the conversation by simply raising your eyebrows in an ironic manner; you'll be right at home.