Itchy's Top 5 Brighton Dates
Bright lights, date city. How to fall in love in Brighton.
Because Brighton is bubbling over with variety, there’s always going to be somebody new to see and, erm, do. If you want to secure at least the prospect of a second date, and putting out is something you’d rather put off, you’re going to have to make that first meeting memorable. For the right reasons.
Never fear, Itchy are confident that a rendezvous at any of the following will ensure that you will go down in dating history as the one that decided to be different. Your cup shall runneth over with sexual promise. ‘He who dares Rodney…’
The basic premise of orb-ing: strap willing participant inside a huge transparent rubber ball thing, and launch off top of nearest hill. Devil’s Dyke does nicely. If you orb a deux, then this is also a good way to get up close and personal without appearing too keen. If they react badly, you simply blame gravity. Hot Itchy tip: try to throw up afterwards, not during.
Earthships are ‘cutting edge green buildings’, constructed using waste car tyres and other recycled materials”. A first date here will undoubtedly say – ‘What an intelligent, compassionate individual I really am.’ It’ll also enable you to broach the tricky subject of compatible lifestyle goals.
Brighton Victorian Sewers Tour
How many people have you met who can tell you a story about the time they found love in a drainage system? And not just any drainage system. “One of the most magnificent examples of civil engineering from that glorious period of ingenuity.” You get to wear a hard hat. You get to emerge from a man hole in the middle of Old Steine Gardens. You’ll get a result.
The Sea Life Centre
Go meet Lulu, the vegetarian green turtle, who weighs 32 stone, and doesn’t appear to be sticking to her diet. Next to Lulu, you’re going to look pretty suave. Hot Itchy tip: muted underwater lighting minimises imperfections by making them difficult to see.
Ghost Walk of the Lanes
A bit of a wheeze this one – led by a very loud man in Victorian costume, and including a stop off at Scandinavian drinking den Northern Lights, where you can purchase a shot of Benylin flavoured vodka for a mere pound. If you aren’t chilled by fear, then you will be once the sun goes down, so you’ll be all over each other just to stay warm. Hot Itchy tip: it’s polite to ask before putting your cold hands up somebody’s jumper.