Itchy's OCD Guide to Life
It might not be sexy, but damn it’s neat.
1. It may well save/activate your sex life
It's all very well playing Mr Cool and grinning at the thought of missing that doctor's appointment having 'accidentally-on-purpose' forgotten to write it down, but you won't be so jolly in two months time when your infectious genitalia become the most feared resident in your office (even overtaking Pervy John from Marketing) and attractive co-workers who had previously given you the eye, now run from the water cooler when you approach. To evade such tragedies, keep some Post Its by your computer, and/or by your bed.
2. Everything will be easy to locate
Whilst you may feel lost without your huge pile of crap, we can only wonder what has become lost under your heap of useless print-outs. No desk would be complete without some sort of paper tray or stationery rack. Fact. Everyone needs a storage area for their everyday paraphernalia (hand sanitizer, anti-bacterial wipes, tissues, cotton buds, bleach...) and no, 'spread all around my desk area' does not count as storage. Example of how this may benefit you: Where are my keys? Just in the handy circular compartment of my tray organiser, of course.
3. You will reap the emotional benefits
There's nothing more tear-jerking than looking out onto your clear, clean coffee table. It is a feeling that even the most talented wordsmith could not describe, though if they absolutely had to, these adjectives would sum it up: breathtaking, heart-warming and just, wow. There is a feeling that often arrives in the pit of one's stomach, we like to think of it as a tiny woodland creature, who, when fed the right things, reaps waves of satisfaction. Upon gazing at your beautifully organised table, you will indubitably feel said tiny woodland creature dance with satisfaction and glee. Some refer to it as 'butterflies', we know better.
4. No more waiting to build a hero's cranium
We've all been there; we buy a model aircraft or a 3D puzzle of Nelson Mandela's head and overcome with excitement, decide to rush home and build it. We bust through the door, our limbs frenzied and begin to rip open the packaging, only to find that the area on which we intended to get all DIY is actually a little rife with things. Clothes, magazines, bowl of leftover cereal, plaster from stubbed toe, pornographic playing cards Dave got you from Turkey etc. In frustration we then have to spend time clearing the table in order to set out our new toy. Sigh, grumble, curse. End story.
5. Everyone wins
No more nagging from your neat-freak girlfriend, no more looking like a mess when you're rooting through files at a business meeting and no more missing your own wedding (and other fundamentally important events). Just three factors that will change your life, believe us.