World Cup Moments We'd Rather Forget
Are you game for laugh?
Feature
Let's face it, England's World Cup history is littered with incidents that we would rather forget. We've been cheated more times than Tiger's wife. In fact, only the Irish can lay claim to a more blatant incident of a shocking World Cup refereeing decision, but even they are mere amateurs when it comes to being screwed by the man.
So, it's time for a World Cup rant, and a chance to get all those years of built up aggression off our chests.
1. Maradona...
Lets get the vertically challenged South American out the way so we don't have to talk about him anymore, although something tells us Argentina will be mentioned once or twice before you finish reading this.
Back in the good old days of 1986 when we could have given him a swift kick (obviously if we'd been able to catch him) Maradona took just a few minutes to score one of the most controversial goals in World Cup history followed by one of the most amazing goals in World Cup history. Both of which condemned Maradona to being permanently stricken from our Christmas card list.
His day will come... (and for you Irish, so it seems will Henry's)
2. ...In fact the whole Argentinean team
Forget Germany. Ever since we stuffed 'em 5-1 we consider all football related debts to be settled. Infact, it's probably the Germans that feel they have some manner of revenge to exact on us. Instead, while we've had the odd result against them, we still have a lot of scores to settle with Argentina.
In 1998 Diego Simeone's reaction to Beckham's mere attempt at gentle footsie was one of such serious disproportion that Beckham was red carded. In 2002, just two months before the World Cup, Beckham's foot was broken by Pedro Duscher, who is, you guessed it, from Argentina.
The only English solution? A straight up fist fight.
3. England's ”finest“
We pride ourselves on the rugged nature of English football. Our players don't scream and cry like little children on the pitch. They're men, and as such they conduct themselves like men.
Similarly, the legends of the English game remain as such for eternity, never to sell out and never to embarrass the country. That's the English way.
And our ex managers are first class, some might say oracles even. King Kev may well have assured us that there was 'no way' England could lose to Romania in France 98 and he may well have predicted that David Batty would score his penalty when no-one else gave him a hope in hell but dammit, he knows what he's talking about.
4. The dreaded penalty shootout
Seriously, how hard can it be? Pearce and Waddle missed against West Germany in 1990, Ince and Batty missed against Argentina in 1998 and Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher all missed against Portugal in 2006. It's a curse.
Still, even Sir Alex misses one every now and then...
5. And finally ... the male ego
We know what would go a long way to securing the 2018 World Cup finals. Lets send the Chairman of the Bid Committee out with his undercover lover for a few drinks.
What's the worst that could happen?
Similarly, the legends of the English game remain as such for eternity, never to sell out and never to embarrass the country. That's the English way.
And our ex managers are first class, some might say oracles even. King Kev may well have assured us that there was 'no way' England could lose to Romania in France 98 and he may well have predicted that David Batty would score his penalty when no-one else gave him a hope in hell but dammit, he knows what he's talking about.
4. The dreaded penalty shootout
Seriously, how hard can it be? Pearce and Waddle missed against West Germany in 1990, Ince and Batty missed against Argentina in 1998 and Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher all missed against Portugal in 2006. It's a curse.
Still, even Sir Alex misses one every now and then...
5. And finally ... the male ego
We know what would go a long way to securing the 2018 World Cup finals. Lets send the Chairman of the Bid Committee out with his undercover lover for a few drinks.
What's the worst that could happen?
